well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
