can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
