I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
