Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
