I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize