Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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