my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
