; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
