Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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