I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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