That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
