I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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