Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
