home. puking in laundry basket.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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