Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
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