If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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