I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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