Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
