the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
