How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
