I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
