I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
