her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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