some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
