Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wish you could order shots online.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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