Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
