I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am one with the molecules
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
