It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
