so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
