You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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