But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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