i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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