I got chris browned last night
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
