We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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