did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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