Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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