I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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