I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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