Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Fuck appropriateness.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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