you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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