Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My vagina is officially offended.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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