Will you blow on my dice?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
