So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize