I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
