If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
did i just pee glitter
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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