Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize