So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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