If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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