I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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