thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
