so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize