Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
