I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
