i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
