I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
