he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
