I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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