break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
