He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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