i just wanna soil my oats bro
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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