I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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