You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
