We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
