I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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