Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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