Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
