I wish I could punch you in the face.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
