Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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